Someone To Have
by n0b0dys-baby
Summary: After a lifetime of feeling alone, Steve Rogers gave up on thinking he would ever find someone to love. To fill the void he busies himself with his work. But when a new opportunity arises and all eyes are on him, he cant fight off the emptiness. Until he finds her.
1. Chapter 1

"Come on, there has to be someone." Natasha Romonoff bit the inside of her lip to keep the smile away as she watched the man across from her squirm uncomfortably.

Most people wouldn't notice he was uncomfortable, but a lifetime of having to study people made it very easy for Natasha to see. The slight shift of his eyes when she asked the question; the subtle, tense, stiffness of his broad shoulders.

Oh yes, he was uncomfortable.

"I don't think that's appropriate work conversation." An answer she was expecting from the straight laced, old fashioned man.

"What work?" She scoffed. "They've had us sitting at this table, in this empty room for over twenty minutes."

"They brought us here for a reason."

"Even if they did, no one's in here now. We can talk; we still have that freedom." His mouth set into a hard line at her words. Talking about freedom with Mr. Freedom; she should have known.

"Natasha-"

"There must be someone if you're avoiding the question this much." His mouth snapped shut. He thought he was so stoic, so impassive, so convincing. Natasha knew better. He was keeping something, _someone_ , from her.

"There isn't anyone."

"Steve, I've known you for years now. And it's also my job to know when someone is lying. You're lying." He swallowed hard and looked down. "She must be something if she has you this nervous."

"She's beautiful." His eyes were focused on his hand resting on top of the table, but all he could see was her face. "Smart, soft, sweet-"

"The three S's."

"Yeah," he finally smiled, a boyish look taking over his masculine face. A softness Natasha had never seen from him.

"How is the chemistry?"

"Pardon me?" She made sure not to laugh at his confusion; she knew how much he hated it when people heckled him for his lack of 21st century lingo.

"The connection between you two, how is it? It's clear she has a hold over you. Is it mutual?"

His eyes went down again. "We haven't...I haven't…"

"Made a move?"

His eyes shot up to her briefly before looking back down. "Yeah."

"Steve, how will you know if you don't make a move?"

"I really hate that term," he looked up, an almost pained look on his face at the expression.

"Ask her on a date. Have you even talked to her?" She wouldn't be surprised if he said he hadn't.

"Yes, of course."

"The worst she can say is no, and most women aren't going to say no to you."

"I don't think she's most women." The softness began to come back again.

"Do you need me to help you with asking her?" His eyes widened slightly, and Natasha couldn't quite place why. His mouth opened to answer just as Nick Fury walked into the room.

"Agent Romonoff. Captain." Steve sat up straight, a no nonsense look on his face. It was time for business. "Sorry for the wait."

"What do you have for us?" Steve braced himself.

"Official, unofficial Avengers matters." Steve and Natasha looked at each other, both equally confused.

"A secret mission?" Natasha knew all about secretive work.

"The complete opposite." They were still confused. "People see the Avengers as heroes; most people at least. They idolize you. Look to you for comfort in the event of doom."

"I don't like where this is going," Natash grumbled. Steve quirked an eyebrow at her, still confused.

"Their support weighs out the neigh-sayers, for the most part." Fury stood straight, hands behind his back. "We want the public to see a more...human side of the Avengers."

"Are you going to ask us what I think you're going to ask us?" Natasha was not at all thrilled.

His response was simple. "Yes."

"What exactly are you asking us?" Steve seemed to be the one out of the loop.

"They want us to do press," Natasha answered.

"Press?"

"Put on a good show, a pretty face," Natasha answered again. "Basically be a dancing monkey."

Steve had flashbacks of his time after the serum injections. Touring across the states, putting on a show for the people, make them think the war was glamorous and carefree. But that was all a lie.

"If I may, Sir, I've done that before," he told Fury. "I joined the Avengers to protect people, to do what was right. Not to parade around and smile at people."

"Same," Natasha sided.

"Trust me, I understand. Right now we're at a time of peace. As much as we can be without needing to assemble the Avengers. And even though you all have been inactive for months, there are still people trying to eliminate it." He stopped, bent over with his hands resting on the table. "I need you two to show a little humanity to them."

"Why us?" Steve asked.

Fury chuckled as he answered. "Thor is from another dimension. Banner doesn't do well with crowds. Barton doesn't have the personality for publicity."

"Stark would be perfect." Steve could just see Tony in front of a crowd, basking in the light.

"Stark is arrogant."

"No argument here," Natasha scoffed.

"People don't want arrogancy. They want humbleness, quiet strength." He looked at Steve. "That's where you come in."

"Then why do you need me?" Natasha was beginning to get very annoyed with this meeting.

"People look up to you, Natasha. Little girls see you on T.V, get inspired by you. They want to be you." She swallowed down the lump that was beginning to form in the throat. Never did she think she would be a role model to little girls.

Steve looked at the red head. He knew she had an inner turmoil with her past. He was proud of Natasha. It wasn't an easy thing to turn your life around and become someone people admired.

Steve spoke for both of them. "Can we think about it and get back to you with an answer?"

Fury hesitated, but with a sigh nodded. "Yes. But I need an answer ASAP." Steve nodded, Natasha seemed to still be in a daze, but with a soft nudge at her foot under the table from Steve, she was back in reality nodding her head as well. "Good. Meeting done."


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha followed Steve out of S.H.I.E.L.D's main building. "Are you really considering this? You said you've done the monkey thing. Why do it again?"

Steve had to think about his answer. The truth was, he didn't know why he was considering it. Part of him wanted to believe that the soldier in him was trying to follow orders, but he knew that wasn't why. Was he just bored in his everyday life and wanted something to do? Maybe.

"I respect Fury. He wouldn't ask us to do something like this if he didn't think it would do some good." Steve continued down the long walkway outside. Natasha let out a deep breath. She had a feeling Steve was going to agree to this, which meant she'd have to go along with it as well.

Natasha jogged a bit to catch up with him. "Can't you break your perfect persona just once? Live a little. Be the bad boy," she laughed. Steve stopped, his usual stern, stoic look set into his face. "It was a joke, Rogers." But still he didn't laugh. He continued to his car with Natasha still behind him.

It was a beautiful day. Sunny and warm with a nice breeze to keep cool. At the park across the way, children were playing, dogs were chasing, and couples sat with each other. Steve felt the pang of loneliness shoot through him. Why now? Why after so many years -decade upon decade- of being alone was it now seeming to come bubbling to the surface? He could only think of one reason.

 _Her_.

His heart jumped when he thought about her. Even more when he unlocked his car and got the book he recently finished reading from inside. Natasha looked at the book in his hand as he shut his car door.

"To Kill a Mockingbird? Are you in high school?"

"No, I was frozen when most of the great American novels were published. I've taken the time to get caught up."

"You never really struck me as the reading type."

"I don't care too much for television. The radio doesn't hold the same entertainment value as it once did. Books….Books never change." Natasha felt a small stab at her heart. Even though Steve had been unfrozen for a few years now, he still had a hard time with the 70 year evolution he missed out on. She understood why he liked to read. Books stayed the same. Something written a hundred years ago would read just the same today. They were frozen in time. Just like him.

"Where are you going?" She followed him as he began to the street.

"The library."

"The library?"

He held up the book. "To return this and to check out another."

"Oh." She walked with him as he crossed the street, the library being on the other side. "They have tablets now, this device where you can download books onto it. You can have an entire library right in the palm of your hands, ready when you need it. Cuts down on the back and forth."

"I like the library. It's one of the very few things that has remained the same." She heard the sadness, felt another pang.

As they reached the doors Natasha noticed the softness came to him again. Not as much as before, but it was there. He also seemed nervous; his tongue swiping over his bottom lip as he held the door open for her.

A soft silence fell over them upon entering the building. It was warmly lit, a very cozy feel to it. It was a two story library, and there wasn't one place you could look and not see books. Steve seemed to know exactly where he was going. He made a beeline towards the stairs, constantly scanning the room as he went as if he was looking for someone.

"They keep the older books on the second floor," he told Natasha as they climbed the grand wooden stairs.

"Hmm," she acknowledged.

He led her to the far side of the second floor, to the third row of shelves. His brow creased in the center as he scanned the shelf with precision. He knew what he was looking for.

"Ah," he gently slid the paperback from its spot.

Natasha looked at the book. "For Whom the Bell Tolls. You know, Metallica has a song titled that." Steve quirked up an eyebrow. "It's a song. By a band. A really famous band. I'm surprised you haven't-"

"I've heard of Metallica," he cut her off. "This is one of my favorite books." He decided to keep the fact that _A Farewell to Arms_ was his favorite to himself.

"A Hemingway man. I can see that about you."

"Did you want to check out anything?" He didn't want the subject to be about him anymore.

"Nope, just came here to keep you company."

"Nothing to better to do, huh?" He poked at her with a smile.

"Friends do things together." His smiled deepened at her words. Yes, he could definitely call Natasha one of his very few friends. They started towards the stairs again to get to the checkout desk. "Maybe next time I'll take you to a record store, show you some good music."

"I've got a list of music I've been recommended." He could feel the small leather bound book he kept in his back pocket, something he could jot a quick note or reminder on. He had a few pages of music, movies, shows, past world events, and many pop culture stories he had to catch up on.

"Bring the list. I'll tell you what's worth listening to on it. I'm so sorry!" Natasha grabbed onto the person she had bumped into. Being in the library with Steve had her relaxed, not focused on her surroundings like usual.

"It's okay, I wasn't paying attention." The sound of the warm voice had Steve's insides twisting.

 _Her_.

"Oh, Steve. Hi." The woman noticed Steve after straightening herself up from her bump with Natasha.

"Samantha, hi." Natasha immediately heard the nervousness in his voice. With one look at his face she knew this was the woman he had been talking about.

The laugh that passed through her lips was as warm as her voice. "How many times have I told you this; it's Sami."

"I know," he smiled. "But Samantha is such a beautiful name." Natasha almost wanted to pat him on the back for how smooth he was….And then he ruined it.

"Not that Sami isn't a beautiful name as well, I just think Samantha is more mature. Not that being called Sami makes you immature or a child, because you're a woman. Definitely a woman." The brunette stared at him while he fumbled over his words, a look of sympathy on her face. Natasha had to put him out of his misery.

"Hi, I'm Natasha," she stuck her hand out for the woman to shake. Steve took a step back and let out a long defeated breath. "I work with Steve."

"Nice to meet you, Natasha. Are you guys on a lunch break?" Natasha was a little taken back by her question. Did she not know who they were or what they did? As odd as it was that she and Steve seemed so _normal_ to Sami, she liked it. She didn't like when people made a big deal of who she was now that The Avengers were so public.

"No," Natasha answered for Steve since she was sure he was still recuperating. "Returning a book and checking out a new one."

"I can check you guys out up here if you'd like. Then you won't have to wait in the long line downstairs."

"That would be great, thank you."

"Sure, right over here."

Sami turned and started walking, Steve took a step to follow but Natasha grabbed his arm. "What the hell was that, Rogers? Is that how you normally talk to her?"

"Not every time," his cheeks began turning red.

"Oh my God."

They followed behind her, not wanting to be rude. Natasha looked at the woman from behind. Tall with long, dark brown hair. Pale skin and womanly curves. Natasha cast a look at Steve. His eyes were focused. She followed his line of vision and almost choked when she realized he was staring at her backside.

Wholesome and proper Steve, staring at the librarian's ass.

When Sami went around the desk and her bottom half was no longer in view, Steve quickly averted his attention up. Natasha had to hold back the laugh. With a warm smile Sami held her hand out, silently asking for the book.

"Another Hemingway," she said fondly. So she paid attention to him and his likes, a good sign. "Is he your favorite author?"

"I suppose. I do seem to favor his novels." Sami gave him a smile and hoped he would say more. She bit at her bottom lip in anticipation. She was nervous too. When she realized that he wasn't going to continue she gave a nod, almost to clear her own thoughts, and went back to checking out the book.

Natasha realized she was going to have to help Steve with this. With subtly, she nudged his arm with hers. Steve gave her a scowl, not knowing what Natasha was doing. He quickly figured it out when Natasha mouthed "talk to her". His cheeks warmed but he tried to push that away.

"Who's your favorite author?" He wanted to kick himself. He didn't know what to say.

"I don't think I really have one in particular. I have a favorite genre, it's the one I mostly stay in."

Natasha kicked his foot when he didn't pick up the cue to ask the question. "Which is that?"

"Oh, cheesy, romance novels. I'm a hopeless romantic." He chuckled at the way she rolled her eyes at herself. With a scan of the barcode and a few clicks on the keyboard, the book was checked out. She slid the book across the desk to him. "All checked out. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

It was a general statement but Natasha wouldn't be surprised if Sami had forgotten she was standing there. Hell, she wouldn't be surprised if Steve had forgotten about her.

"That will do it," he picked up the book. He looked back up, his throat constricting as he thought about trying to say more. He didn't know what it was about her, but it was like his brain went to mush when she was around. It's not like he couldn't talk to women, it was just _her_. "Uh, well thanks."

Steve turned and hurried off. Natasha looked at Sami, her smile falling as he retreated. "You're welcome," her voice was much smaller. "Have a nice day." She mustered as much of a smile as she could for Natasha, who returned it with sympathy. Natasha couldn't wait until they were out of the quiet building.

He was going to talk whether he liked it or not.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve could feel the embarrassment pouring off of him as he all but ran out of the library. He could hear Natasha behind him trying to keep up. Why did she have to go to the library with him? Now she saw him first hand trying to talk to Sami and what a disaster it was.

"Steve!" He slowed, bracing himself for whatever mocking Natasha was about to unleash. "What happened in there?"

"Natasha, I don't need your input."

She was surprised at his almost aggressive tone. "Clearly you do."

"No, we're done here." He started back to his car. He wanted to erase the memory of the interaction with Sami, not be reminded of it by Natasha.

"She wanted to keep talking to you." She wasn't going to give up. "Ask her to dinner or something. I'm sure she'd say yes."

He didn't remember the walk from his car being this far. "Stop worrying about my love life."

"I think she likes you. Just ask her out, what's the worst that could happen? She says no?"

Steve stopped, turning quickly. Natasha almost crashed into his chest. "Do you know how old I am?"

The question caught her off guard. "Do I . . . Steve, what does that-"

"I'm ninety eight years old, Natasha."

It still fascinated her when she heard his age aloud. "You don't look like you're ninety eight."

"Exactly. I am eternally this age," he gestured to his body. Tall, strong, not a wrinkle on his face.

"I don't understand how your age has anything to do with asking someone on a date."

Of course she didn't understand, he didn't expect her to. He didn't expect anyone to.

"I was frozen for seventy years. If I hadn't of been do you know how many funerals I would have gone to? Ninety eight years of never aging, but watching everyone I love age. And die." His mouth set into a hard line as his jaw clench. He swallowed down the lump in his throat. "Sometimes I wish I hadn't of been in that plane when it went down, but more often than not I'm thankful I was. So I didn't have to sit around and watch them all die with no end in sight."

Natasha blinked away the tears in her eyes. She could relate to Steve. She knew the despair that came with knowing your friends, the people you loved, would die. She knew the pain of being the hands that took the life.

Her past was not a fond memory, and more and more she was beginning to see that neither was Steve's. Maybe it was the thing that held them together, the feeling of loss. Natasha never thought about losing him, but now she wondered if Steve worried about losing her.

Steve's day was pretty much shot to hell now. Memories were brought up. Some good, but they still pained him. Lately his days were spent alone in his apartment lost in his thoughts. He thought about getting help, but what psychiatrist would know what to do for a man trapped, suspended in time?

Books were his only solace. He could read all day, taking his thoughts away to another place. Anywhere but his tormented reality.

And that's where he met her, Sami. So kind and soft. She brought a comfort to him he didn't know he was missing. The battle inside raged. One part wanting to know more, know everything about her. The other was yelling to keep away. Usually he had pretty good self control, but for some reason the brunette wasn't easy to ignore. And it made Steve want her all the more.

Natasha's hand on his arm brought him back to reality. "You can't hide away, Steve." Her blue eyes shone with a love that Steve had almost forgotten about. She showed him that it was okay to let people in, even if she didn't realize it. She was his friend.

"I'll think about it." But his mind was made up. Friends was something he could consider, but he knew being friends with Sami would not be enough for him.

Natasha backed off. She knew Steve was lying, but she'd give him a few days. And if nothing changed she would talk to Sami herself.

She shook her head at him. "If you say so, Rogers." Looking at the time she realized she had somewhere to be. "I gotta go."

Steve watched her get into her corvette. "Have a date?"

Natasha smirked as she pulled up next to him. "Let me know what your answer to Fury is. **Before** you tell him."

Steve nodded. "Yes ma'am."

"Don't break a hip getting into your car, old man."

Steve rolled his eyes but gave her a playful smile. "Get out of here, Romanoff."

She returned the gesture. "Later, Cap."

Steve watched as she drove out of the parking lot. Turning, he made his way to his car. His night was pretty much planned. He had a new book; now he just had to figure out what to eat for dinner.

The clicking of heels caught his attention and upon looking up he saw Sami. His heart leapt at the sight. Her grey skirt clung tightly to her, stopping mid thigh and showing her curves. Tucked in was a black, quarter sleeve shirt. Her long legs covered by black stockings. Long, dark hair hung down her back and flowed around her face. She had a small bag strapped across her body and balanced at least four books in her arms.

As she got closer to her car she struggled to hold the books as she searched inside of her bag.

"Need a hand?" Steve called out as he approached her.

A soft gasp left her mouth, she thought she was alone. "Steve," a warmth filled her at the sight.

"Do you need help?" he asked again, concern etched on his face.

"Please," she handed off the books to him and dug in her purse until she pulled out her keys. "My bag isn't even that big. I don't know why it's so hard to find things inside of it."

Steve chuckled. She was cute even when frazzled. "Just glad I could help out. Stealing all the books?" She had six.

"Oh no," she reached out to take them back, but Steve shook his head. "I've been wanting to check them out for ages, but they're always gone. They all happened to be in at the same time, so I snagged them while I could."

"A book hoarding librarian," Steve laughed. "Seems a bit contradictory."

"I never like to fit the mold." The glint in her eye made Steve's insides clench.

"You don't have a tablet to put all of your books on?" If Natasha could hear him now…

"I prefer the real deal. I find comfort in being able to turn the page." Steve could relate. He felt himself fall for her a little bit more.

"Can I help you to your car?"

"I'd appreciate that. It's right over here," she pointed to the small, red S.U.V. a few spaces down.

Steve felt almost proud of himself. They were talking and he wasn't embarrassing himself. In fact, he didn't feel nervous at all.

Sami opened the door to her backseat and he set the books down.

"Not going to buckle them in?" he teased as she closed the door.

"Not this bunch. It's not like any of them are Harry Potter."

Harry Potter. One of the things on his list to check out.

"Will I see you at the library tomorrow?" she asked him. This was the most they had talked, she wanted to keep it going. "It usually only takes you a day or two to finish a book."

"I might take my time with this one. Really enjoy the story."

"I hope you do." Her soft smile shot straight to his gut.

"I'll be sure to check you out when I come back though." He cringed at his words. "No, not check you out-"

Her giggle was soft. "I know what you meant, Steve."

His embarrassment began taking over. "Alright, well I see you in a couple days." He turned his back to her and began walking away. Sami watched him, biting her lip nervously.

It was now or never.

"Steve!" He immediately stopped. "I, um, wanted to ask if you'd want to go to lunch sometime?"

The air left his lungs. Did she just ask him...on a date?

When he didn't respond she got nervous. "I figured I'd ask because we work close by and there are tons of places to eat, and I think we both enjoy eating lunch."

It was refreshing to see her cheeks turn pink. He wasn't the only one that got nervous.

"I'd like that." Her smile lit up her face in a way Steve had never seen before.

"How about tomorrow? My lunch break is at one."

"That works. I'll wait outside the library for you."

"Great," her smile was infectious. "I'll see you tomorrow, Steve."

"See you tomorrow, Sami." He waved as she drove off.

With a little more pep to his step, he walked to his car. A smile on his face his entire drive home.

Part of him wondered if this was a smart idea. He already had strong feelings for the woman. What if they got stronger? Deciding to worry about it later, he reveled in the happy feeling he had been missing.

Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe Sami could help him find that happiness again. In this moment, the feeling he felt was worth it.


End file.
